This whole post is full of rants and Fucks. so don't read, or bear with it.


i dont understand why i am not allowed to go stay over at my friends' houses.
i felt bad for showing the lousy side of me infront of the CJs but TBH(to be honest) , the part of not being able to ton is 1 thing, but the main thing that im really BOOMZZSHINGZ about is that i really dont understand how my bro always get to ton and i dont.
i mean, yeah sure , about being protective esp when imma girl.
& yeah sure whatever, im JUST 18 to them. BUT 18 LEH. WALAU. ok fine dont talk about age.
thing is. ive always. ALWAYS been a v good girl, good as in the way that i always listen to them. i have never,
NEVER ran out before. and everytime i go out, i tell them what is it abt etc.. and the few times i was allowed to ton, IM STILL OK. IM STILL CLEAN.

i mean like. point is. yes sure, they will be worried.
BUT LOOK. THEY SHOULD HAVE MORE FAITH n TRUST IN ME WHAT.
its not like i go out or stay out late or dont come home every other day.
its not like my friends are indecent people.
its not like im an indecent / promiscuous girl.
im just asking for a night at my friends' house with a group of friends.
what's so fucking wrong with that la? nb.

& thing is. even if u dont allow me,
AT LEAST FUCKING GIMME A FUCKING REASON WHY LA.
"Why cannot?!?!"
"Cannot means cannot, you come home now."
WHAT THE F U C K ?
its like its like... punching me in my face. and then telling me, "oh, i just wanna punch you."

its like, at least gimme a reason why i am not allowed to go la can?!
i feel so fucked up.
i feel so disatisfied.
its like damn bu4 gan1 xing1 la can.
i cant go for no fucking reason at all. just becus they buay song dun lemme go.
and then when i come home they act like v good to me n stuff just becus they feel bad.
WHAT SHIT. THEN LEMME GO LA. ITS NOT LIKE IMMA COMMIT A CRIME LIKE THAT..


FUCKING PISSED LA.

Labels: Curry Jii, family, pissed, ton, trust, unfair

urgh. currently having gastric pains. ate already but still hurting. feels like as if smth is eating up my stomach. arggghhh

i wanna chg blogskin soon. the images link all screwed up and the dividers also all off. cannot stand it!

--

locking @ 3 - 5pm just now. i forgot n thought it was cherie's choreo, lucky i checked.
Curry Jii session @ rp tday full-gear wear n taking vid. ahh! wanted to go but didnt. but anyway i was and still am feeling quite down n unmotivated becus of some issues.

Labels: dance

hello again, after 100 years.

im too lazy to update most stuff but anyway, SDZ Waves 14 Intensive Dance Camp was over the weekend. Last fri to sun. It was quite slack for me, was really boring at some times. i think those free times supposed to be for us to practice on our own but i was too lazy (so were many others). but either way it was fun.

Spent the whole camp with moderners. First night was awesome. played candles n sparklers n carried lanterns with them. thanks to pearl nadiah bev n some of the jrs for buying n brging the stuff. awesome shitballz. Pics on FB n shasha's blog. love it. (:

Spent many monies $$$ on unhealthy food sia. zzom.

Anyway, Waves 14 "Circus" is gonna be the dopest of the dope. :D
hohoho.
Die die must watch if not regret ah!

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On other news...

CURRY JII! hohoho.
i should really focus on locking. been learning locking for quite some time now but my improvement is so little.
grateful to daniel for encouraging me to session with the curry jii lockers last tues (29 sept) n bringing me into curry jii. learnt quite a lot from just that 1 session. my strengths n weaknesses, what to improve on, confidence, etc. it was scary at first but really fun.
love it.

locking with them was really a.. hmm. enriching experience luh. somehow, i dont know how to explain the feeling but it was really different from dancing with people in sdz.
somehow it feels more comfortable.
all i have to say is, i really wanna session with them more often.
& more importantly, i need & WANT to build up my confidence,

Curry Jii yay!

CJ gonna session n take vid tmr, i wanna goooo but then again i think i should spend some time on cherie's choreo first. 100% vetting on sat. *dieded*

Labels: camp, Curry Jii, locking, SDZ, Waves 14

hello world.

its been 1274033985093483975837 years since i last blogged.

been too lazy to touch my blog, plus, blogger keep having bugs and its annoying whenever i wanna blog, so i decided to give up. hah.

anyways. lots have happened n passed. oh, i din get into o sch recital's locking. =[ rather disappointed but ah well, at least i tried. (:

WAVES 14 CONCERT'S NEXT. 6 Nov baby!
heheh! locking locking yo! n cherie's modern choreo. yessah! :D

wanted to do a more proper post , but blogger is screwed up again, links and buttons all over the place, see liao also sian. D: so. i shall do so next time (soon, hopefully)

oh oh and! im turning into a 'korean' haha! kpop ftw.
SUJU ; SUNGMIN OPPA! saranghae.


i am super pissed and disgusted that it makes me don't wanna do any work.
What the fuck.

you call this a relationship between 'best friends'?!
bullshit.
i've been giving in and keeping quiet.
trying to put myself in your shoes
and support you in whatever you aim for.
and letting you have your way even if it means doubting me just for some guy,
who obviously doesnt reciprocate your efforts at all.
then whats the point of forsaking friendship for him.

super #@$@#%$## disappointed.
never been so pissed about the situation before,
always thought it was my fault and all,
so i always tried to do my best to make the situation to your favour.
and try again and again not to let this friendship die.

but what you fucking asked for just now...
wow.
broke my heart.
in an instant.
can you stop being so sensitive.
every SINGLE LITTLE THING also got problem.
fuck la

whatever ok. whatever. i dont have time to care about all this shit.
if even after me making it clear to you that i value u as a best friend,
you still doubt me about every little thing.
go ahead and think whatever crazy irrelevant thing you want,
since there is no fucking point in me salvaging anything anyway.

call me petty, call me immature,
i'm just tired.


and now i have to do my work.
bye.


urggh. 24 hours a day is totally not enough for me to handle all these.
i can not break down now.
do or do not, there is no try.
Just do it.
and do it well.

how i wish i have that special someone to share my burden with.
but then again.. time's a factor.

Labels: tremendous workload

yessah. MST's officially over for me.
awesome shitballz.

CB paper (consumer behaviour) tday = heart attack die already.
i'd be glad to just get a pass.
hate to say it but although Rajan's lessons were very relaxed and fun,
& the donuts+cheese+soup tulang+etcetc were awesome-ism
i realised i haven't really learnt much.
time to make up for it.

bah. din get to watch Dance Subaru in the end cus of time constraints + various reasons.
came to realize some stuff that clarified and made my assumption even more true,
which also made me feel even gloomier.

Now that MSTs are over, time to worry about stupid DMA and the Fujitsu ad.
I can't wait for dance to resume.


i suddenly have a yearn for old friends/classmates reunions.

Labels: gloom

i feel so sad for myself that i don't know whether i cry for myself or i cry because i'm down.

Law paper in 12 hrs time.
I don't know how the stuff's gonna get into my head like this.
Awesome ballz.

Labels: sad